Mermaid To Order

October 20, 2003 -- It's not every day a girl gets to be a mermaid.

But this year's famous Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog is offering the chance - and I gave it a whirl.

For the princely sum of $10,000, you can buy a custom-made mermaid costume, complete with swimming lessons.

The suits are created by veteran mermaid costumer Thom Shouse, who transformed Daryl Hannah into a sea siren in the movie "Splash."

But you'd better have a pool handy. You can't walk in the rubbery golden tail - but you can take to water like a fish.

Shouse has transformed dozens of actresses and models into fishy maidens for movies, pop videos and photo shoots. Anna Nicole Smith, Jamie King, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyssa Milano have all been tutored by him.

"Once you get the hang of it, mermaid swimming is easy," said Shouse, 51, who gives instructions on a video that comes with the suit. If you go to L.A., he'll give you a lesson in person.


MERMAID TO ORDER By BRIDGET HARRISON
SEAWORTHY: The Post's Bridget Harrison tests out a mermaid outfit like the $10,000 number offered in the Neiman Marcus catalog. - Steven Hirsch	October 20, 2003 -- It's not every day a girl gets to be a mermaid. But this year's famous Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog is offering the chance - and I gave it a whirl. For the princely sum of $10,000, you can buy a custom-made mermaid costume, complete with swimming lessons. The suits are created by veteran mermaid costumer Thom Shouse, who transformed Daryl Hannah into a sea siren in the movie "Splash." But you'd better have a pool handy. You can't walk in the rubbery golden tail - but you can take to water like a fish. Shouse has transformed dozens of actresses and models into fishy maidens for movies, pop videos and photo shoots. Anna Nicole Smith, Jamie King, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyssa Milano have all been tutored by him. "Once you get the hang of it, mermaid swimming is easy," said Shouse, 51, who gives instructions on a video that comes with the suit. If you go to L.A., he'll give you a lesson in person.
The tail is made exactly to your body measurements - and it's literally a skintight fit. Just to get it on requires a good amount of undignified heaving and wiggling. I borrowed the tail that Milano wore in "Charmed." It took 10 minutes to get it over my butt. The rubbery plastic, urethane, is neutrally buoyant, meaning it neither sinks nor floats so it's easy to maneuver in water - and it won't tear if you take your mermaid routine near rocks. You also get a clamshell bikini top, held together with pearls. I went to the tony ParkerMeridien rooftop pool on West 57th Street for my maiden mermaid swim. First, I held onto a life preserver while I got used to having a tail instead of two legs. Shouse instructed me not to bend my knees and flap about like a landed carp, but gracefully "undulate" my entire body. "Think of a wave," he said. While heavy and cumbersome on land, the 51/2-foot tail is a different story in water. It's more powerful than swimming with flippers - and all that body undulating gets you in the abs. After a couple of lengths' practice, I found I could speed around like a water baby. Apparently, Hannah swam so fast while filming "Splash" that even her safety divers couldn't keep up. Neiman Marcus says the point of the catalog is to cater to customers' fantasies. "The mermaid suit is not just a fun gift, it's a fun and exciting experience as well," said spokeswoman Kellie Patrick. Shouse, who still believes he saw three real mermaids while snorkeling off the coast of Palos Verdes, Calif., at age 15, says people all over the world call him and log on to his Web site, mermaidrentals.com, because they are obsessed with the mythical creatures. I may now be one of them.